I used this recently as a theme in a yoga lesson I taught. Brahmacharya is one of the yamas, which are one of the eight limbs of ashtanga yoga. Without going into too much detail in this post on what the yamas are, they are often translated as ‘restraints’. However, I prefer to use the term ‘considerations’ so, for me, the yamas are things to consider as we go about our lives.

Brahmacharya is the fourth of these yamas. Traditionally, it is translated as ‘sexual chastity’ or ‘celibacy’ but, again, I’m a maverick and like to interpret it differently: as the efficient use of energy or the balanced expenditure of energy. Essentially, it’s trying not to live in excess. The effort of restraining yourself can drain energy in itself and the concept of constantly applying constraint to our lives may not be helpful to everyone (it certainly isn’t for me). I therefore like to view these philosophies as revealing the choices we can make. Despite what society tells us, we have a choice in the matters we give our energy to and the amount of energy we can give them.

To me, finding this sense of balance manifests in feeling well, feeling content and feeling nourished. In the rat race that is modern society, accomplishment is associated with how hard we have worked that week, how much money we have made, how many times we have gone to the gym, how much weight we have lost or gained. But at any point in this web of accomplishments do we feel well and nourished? Some may enjoy it, and that’s great, but this enjoyment may be short term: after a long week at work where lots of money is made, we will likely feel exhausted and depleted. After a week of going to the gym everyday and eating food that is conducive to weight loss, we may again feel lethargic, grumpy and underfed. Where we live lives that are defined by quantifiable accomplishment, we are expending energy on a very short-term basis. Do we enjoy the parts on the way to achieving these things? Probably not. Do we feel content after these accomplishments? Perhaps, until we decide on the next thing we want to achieve.

I see all of this as false nourishment. I too have been caught up in this way of living, sacrificing feeling well and happy for the sake of a grade on a piece of paper or a well-filled CV. But I have now learnt that using energy efficiently, both exerting myself and resting, makes me feel physically well. Where I feel physically well, I feel emotionally and mentally well. Overall, I have found myself in a place of genuine nourishment. I don’t shy away from hard work or periods of increased energy expenditure, but I am also able to view accomplishment as simply being. On days where I haven’t got much done at work or have had more of a gentle yoga session or have not read much or feel less motivated, I know that’s okay. I ride along with the ebb and flow of life and I choose how I spend my energy. In one of my favourite yoga teaching books, energy was referred to as renewable but not infinite[1] which really sat well with me. Perhaps a mathematical equation would come in handy here: energy on a given day or longer is limited and once spent we are left with less. Which parts of our lives do we constantly have less energy for? Should this be the case?

As I said, we have a choice in where and how we exert our energy, both physically and emotionally. Consider energy like a transaction: where we give energy, we should get something in return. I don’t mean this is a materialistic way: yes, we work hard and are remunerated for this, but where’s the nourishment? In relationships we can be the giver, the person who takes care of another, but does this make us feel content? Are we giving energy to another and not saving enough for ourselves? This isn’t selfish and I don’t mean that you should live your life on a quid pro quo basis, what I am saying is that we should engage with people and situations that allow us to feel nourished. This nourishment should come from ourselves, from within, from what we give to a circumstance or person and what we allow ourselves to receive in return.

This is all to say that we can find a way to live that makes us feel calm and at peace. We should allow ourselves to feel content with the choices we have made purely because they make us feel good. Making choices and following through on them will always require energy, in some form or another. Only where we feel balanced in energy and nourished in body can we feel emotionally well and only when we feel emotionally well can we feel physically well. It’s a delicate balance. Learn to be okay with resting after a busy few days; learn to eat in a way that nourishes you but isn’t over indulging; learn to value your physical and mental health; find a way to live that makes you feel content simply by being.

Moments where we choose to relax more and conserve more energy are not the moments of laziness and gluttony that we are told they are. Being nourished looks different to everyone, so feel empowered to reframe what all of this means to you: redefine accomplishment, shift your perspectives on food, relationships and sleep and see where you end up. On one of my CPD yoga weekends, someone referred to this a ‘deserved laziness’, which I really like: ‘laziness’ induces guilt and can lead to us berating ourselves when in fact it gives the body and mind time to recharge and energy to balance. Consider animals: where they’re not stimulated you will find them resting or asleep. They have a primal instinct to conserve and balance energy and are content in each moment. I’m not saying we should start licking ourselves or begin peeing up lampposts, but I do think this is an insight into how we, as fellow mammals, could use our energy.

This is all to say and to highlight that we have a choice in where or to whom we give our energy. As humans, we are able to move from high to low exertions of energy, and life certainly requires both, but a life where energy is used efficiently is one that is more balanced. Balance leads to wellness and wellness leads to happiness.

In the lesson that I used brahmacharya as a theme, I varied the tempo of the flow and the difficulty of the poses so that my students could tune in with the way this variety of expending energy can feel. I invited them to embody the exerted energy and encouraged them to notice the release of an active pose into a more passive and restorative pose. Both can feel good and can be enjoyed when balanced. Perhaps be curious as to how this looks for you in your day-to-day life.

[1] Teaching Yoga Beyond the Poses, Sage Roundtree and Alexandra Desiato.